So, let's begin, shall we? Let's start off with my Dad. I am 23 years old and I sport a 70 year old father. Now alot of people can't believe that I have a father that old but there are some who actually don't find it that strange. I think if I had a 'younger' more debonair 70 year old father things may be more believable but unfortunately my father is none too well. He has suffered for about 20 some-odd years with diabetes and it soon took his eyesight. This also included his Independence, such as his drivers licence and will to do anything. This occurred about 15 years ago. About 6 years ago he was told that his kidneys were failing and that if he wanted to live, he would need to do dialysis 3 times a week. Now, life seems hard when you have a father who has Diabetes, is blind and now his kidneys are failing. Just when you think that's bad, you find out that you now suffer from dementia. At first things seemed okay, but then things just got worse. It soon hits a point where you can no longer leave the knobs on the stove for fear that he will set the house a blaze while your all sleeping. Fear that he will let some murderer in the house or worse yet, fall down the stairs and break his neck. After facing about 15 years of this kind of escalation, we finally make a choice and I think you all know what that choice is...
Now Mom, ah, Mom. Now my mother is 9 years younger than my Dad. Since she had my sister and I later in life, we keep her young. But being young on the outside does not equal young on the inside, unfortunately. Around 15 years ago we were on a trip to Kentucky to visit my Grandparents, while on the trip my Mom receives a phone call from my Dad saying that he Doctor has called with the results of her latest mammogram and she is faced with her first bout of breast cancer (Yes, I said FIRST). After a surgery to remove the cancerous lump she is said to be in remission. About 7 year go by and she is faced again with breast cancer, after another surgery she is back on the mend. But my friends, that is not it. 2 years pass and she is told she again has a cancerous lump. She must face another surgery. This surgery does not occur once but 3 times due to the doctor not getting the margins correctly. So after being sliced and diced 3 times she is finally in the clear. The doctor tells he that he sees some 'dark spots' on her skull and spine and wants her to radiate them just to make sure. After 3 second opinions she decided against it because no one seems to know what they are. Two years pass with no troubles and then, the worst happens....
Mom complains with a stiff neck, she used all sorts of methods to cure the ache but receives no satisfaction. After weeks of this spasm she ends up heading the hospital, first receiving Codeine and 2 ER visits later she is on Morphine. But when Morphine isn't helping the pain, there is something bigger going on. Mom's last trip to the ER was the scariest moment of my life! I was home showering and eating lunch when I receive a call. It's Mom and she says 'Sarah, I have a fracture in my neck and they are taking me to Hamilton for immediate surgery. I love you but I have got to go, they are taking me now'. Mom's groggy voice drifts away and my heart sinks. She didn't even tell me which hospital they were taking her too. I needed to find my Mom! After an adrenaline rush like you wouldn't believe, I drove all over looking for the hospital mom was in and finally found her. After test and Xrays they find that cancer (The dark spots on her skull and neck) have eaten away at her vertebra and she essentially has no neck! Her two options, leave things the way they are and eventually go paralysed or have a metal rod put into your neck which will leave you without the ability to turn your neck.
Are you joking? That is the usual response to this story. But no, I am not joking. As of right now, I do have both my parents. Dad is off to a long term care facility this week, but he will be much safer there. And Mom? Well, she chose to go with the rods. She did end up going through radiation on those neck spots and she does have terminal bone cancer. But she is living a fulfilling life. She drives and cleans and everything in between but she knows when she needs to take a break. Bottom line, life is full of uncertainty but at the end of the day life goes on and we may as well live while we are living.
SG
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